Friday, March 22, 2013

Flailing

This week was a "come to Jesus" week.  I flailed.  I whined.  I stomped.  I slammed.

But then I fell and cried and stopped.  Stopped the merry-go-round madness with three little words, divinely thrown my way by a friend with a patient ear and compassionate heart: "Don't freak out."

As she put it, "maybe God is throwing these circumstances your way to allow your old self to rise to the surface - precisely so that that old self can be dealt with.  Maybe, just maybe, the response is simply: don't freak out."

It's that simple.

When things don't go my way, instead of panicking, I need to remain calm.  This, in many ways, is the ultimate act of faith and trust and, truth be told, hope.

When my timeline is not met, instead of whining, I need to stop and think...perhaps there's a reason I'm not getting what I want when I want it?

When I'm overwhelmed by my emotions, instead of allowing myself to drown under the tsunami-like wave of feelings, I need to raise my staff of God*, trust in the sovereignty of my Supreme Ruler, and choose:

Don't...

freak...

out.

Now that a few days have passed between several disappointments I experienced this week, it's a lot easier to see how my panic, fear, hyper-emotionalism were wholly unhelpful.  It's also a lot easier to see how God is, indeed, working all things together for my good.  When I heard 'no', He was actually saying 'not yet.'  When I heard 'not good enough to be given to you', He was actually saying 'I am giving to you, in the way that is best for you.'  It's amazing what we choose to hear when we allow chaos to rule.

I'm thankful for my friend, thankful for her ear, thankful for her words.  I've found my new motto for now.  So, if you see a friendly redhead in Austin, Texas, flailing her arms and tugging on her pigtails, feel free to walk right up and say, "did you leave your three words at home today?"

*Referencing Moses' staff and the parting of the Red Sea, Exodus 14.


Saturday, March 9, 2013

Find Your Feet

Have you ever noticed how much sports are about finding your feet?  You fly through the air off the high bar, only to stick the landing on the mat.  You breathe, stroke, flip your way into the wall, hoping your feet pound against the wall so you can carry your momentum through the turn.  You pound your feet on the pavement, the sidewalk, the jogging trail, using each downward motion to create the next forward one.  You leap into the air, stretching for the frisbee or football or baseball or what-not, but you always come down.  And the way you come down matters.  Flat-footed, sure-footed, wobbly-footed...it will all affect your next move.

Today, I mastered the flip-turn.  I've been swimming consistently for eight years, but I've never been able to "land" one.  I've been way. too. scared.

Photo credit: Ryan McVay, Photodisc, Getty Images; taken from Livestrong.com
Not today.  Today I heard the Holy Spirit say, "today's the day."  So, I tried.  And, it worked!  I wish you all could have been there with me; I smiled like a little kid.  I was so excited.

And then the analogy came with three little words: find your feet.

Here are some silly, yet painfully authentic, ways I "find my feet" throughout the day:

*****
Me: "Do I seriously look like that?" (I say to myself as I pass my reflection in the mirror.)  "Yuck."

Holy Spirit: "Would you want your daughter to treat herself that way?"

Me: "You're right."  Find your feet.

*****
Holy Spirit: "Can you see how you are dizzy?"

Me: "But I've only been in the pool six minutes."

Holy Spirit: "Yes, but you're back in the pool after five weeks of being unable to swim.  And, it's your second day back this week.  And, you just mastered the kick-turn!"

Me: "You're right," as I acknowledge my limits and climb out of the pool.  Find your feet.

*****
It's not really about the current move, or choice, is it?  I mean, that choice absolutely matters, but it matters because of how it sets us up.

So, will we choose to stick to, push against, run through, land on Truth, setting us up for Life?  I hope so.  Because, I've gotta tell you, it felt so good to kick off that wall today.  The solidity of that wall, like the unbendableness of Truth, gave me power, momentum, strength to move forward well.  I want that.  Don't you?