Tonight I tucked in my one-year-old the same way I do every night: Goodnight Moon followed by a reading from her Baby's First Bible. Then we pray, give "nose kisses", swap real kisses and a hug, and lay down for night-night.
I love every part of this routine, but my favorite part is the moment where we flip to the back of the Bible and read the verse printed over a picture of Jesus surrounded by children of all races. Lily is fascinated by these little ones. Even at this age she knows that they are like her. Her chubby fingers trail over their eyes, noses, hands, feet. She asks me questions about them - questions I can't yet understand. I answer as best I can: "that's right; there's a baby like you."
Inevitably, every night, her fingers wander over the children's faces and land on the face of Jesus. They linger there. I tell her: "that's Jesus." She repeats after me: "Je-sus" in her baby-babble way.
This has become so routine that I take it for granted. Tonight, however, something made me pause. I paid attention. I realized... I am like this. In my purest moments of wonder, when I really stand in awe of God, when I approach Him like a little child, I just sit and gaze at His face, His features, touching them, exploring. This is what it means to be childlike. This is what it means to be in awe.
My lens widens. I see more of the frame. I am sitting on His lap, a child again, but His lap is a throne and He is King. King. The thought has always intimidated me, put me off. I do not want to approach Him when He is like this. Too stuffy, too aloof, too authoritative. In this state I can not wonder at Him, I must be on my best behavior, I must obey with my most sincere "yes sir". When I see Him like this, I am afraid.
I look again. Because I am a child I do not know to be intimidated. My eyes sparkle, just like Lily's do when she runs her fingers over my face. I smile as I discover, the world opening up to me in a whole new way. I giggle as I watch Him smile in return. King or no, He is my Father. I am found in Him. I am safe with Him. This is home.
Linking up with Jen at Soli Deo Gloria this week.