I can tell I'm off balance. In my thoughts. In my attitude. I'm having extreme responses internally that don't make any sense.
The word keeps coming up.
Last week while sitting in my doctor's office to address the latest side effect of my roller-coaster health ride (hot flashes at age 34!), I started to whine to Jesus: "why couldn't I have made healthy living choices years ago? I've known what to do; I was just too stubborn not to do it." I started to berate myself, and He interrupted me. Cut me off. Made me stop.
Small, puny, brittle twigs scattered on the ground. They have fallen down. A few, sturdier branches remain of what once was...a tepee-like campfire awaiting the flame. There are gaps in what is left.
I see a hand place a thicker, stronger branch into the kindling, and I know what His voice confirms. You did not yet have what you needed in order to achieve balance.
I had to wait for certain things, people to come into my life before I felt safe enough to let others go. Until those processes happened, balance was not possible.
Sitting here tonight, another picture.
Lily, my almost two-year-old, trying to walk on the balance beam in her Little Gym class. She can not move forward without balance, and she can not achieve balance without support. All of her core muscles have to come together to provide the base of support she needs to stand tall, reach out, and take a step.
Last but not least, a final picture.
Ocean waves seen from the deck of a sailboat. All is quiet; it is a sunny day.
"God's word does not say we'll have peace like a pond but peace like a river, righteousness like the waves of the sea." (July 25th, Beth Moore's Praying God's Word Day by Day)
Up, down, up, down, up, down...the peaks and troughs of the waves move in and out of view. They balance one another, these highs and lows. Both are necessary for the ocean to contain life.
Linking up with my friends at Soli Deo Gloria tonight. Take a moment to stop by and visit some of the other wonderful bloggers that rest there each week.