"Eat well"

It must be the Lord.  I ran into a dear friend at the grocery store this morning.  We swapped stories about health struggles.  It turns out that (a) we both walk with them in our families daily; and (b) we both approach them via a mixture of western medicine & alternative approaches.  I was deeply encouraged to find another person who understands what my family has been going through in a real, true way.

Then, I happened over to a blog I've started following and read this:

http://willingcook.com/welcoming-kelly-of-the-nourishing-home/

Her story could be my own, except that I'm still trying to implement many of the changes she's already made.  I'm so grateful for this blogging friend.  She spurs me on.

So, in two ways today I am reminded of what the Lord said to me when I was at my lowest and conventional medicine was not helping.  

Quite simply, He said: "eat well."

I am reminded that I must keep seeking, keep experimenting, keep refining my approach.

I am reminded how the most complicated of unknown places often has the most simple way of becoming clear.  

The "real food" or "whole food" or "clean" eating movement is, ultimately, about decluttering.  It's about ending up where we should have started from all along.  It's about cleaning out the pantry of our motives - all those impetuses that move us forward - until what's left is pure, white, clean.  It's about laying down what we want or crave and picking up what we need.  It's about letting go of entitlement and instead choosing holy desire, which is where real fulfillment takes place.  

Once we've changed what drives us we'll change what we want.  And then, we can begin filling up those pantry shelves with real, life-sustaining food that will lead us to honor God not only with our lips, but with our bodies as well.

This is easier said than done.  It is, most definitely, a process.  A year and a half after that word - "eat well" - I'm not even close to being fully obedient.

But I'm trying.  I'm engaging.  And I'm so, so thankful He has called me here.

My prayer for you is that you don't have to face a health crisis to start making changes that will move you toward greater health.  My prayer for you is that you will experience conviction without crisis.  My prayer for you is for wholeness and integration in all areas of your life - the physical and metaphysical.

No matter how you get there, my prayer is that you - and we, all of us in this nation, actually - do get there...that we arrive at the conclusion that we cannot keep poisoning ourselves with food that is actually non-food...that we will, as a nation, shift toward local, sustainable, whole, not because it's trendy but because it's Godly.

That we will collectively choose what we actually hunger for and make a daily effort to "eat well."

My Only Hope

We suddenly find ourselves in a precarious situation in my household.  There has been surprising news, an unexpected turn of events, and disappointment.  The details are irrelevant.  The salient point can be found in the present.  We are, in a word, unstable.

As I lamented our instability last week, whining a bit to the Lord, I did what I always do when things seem to go awry: I pulled out my journal and my Bible.  "I have nowhere to go but to you," I thought. 

"But now, Lord, what do I look for?  My hope is in you."  Psalm 39:7

As I went to Him, He reminded me that He had led me to this verse several times over the last few weeks.  The Word has certainly come alive in me this week; as plans are cut short and the future seems so uncertain, I can cling to this verse, this truth.

During the previous season of unemployment, an eight month period which ended in May, one lesson kept coming up over and over again.  "Live in the present."  It was as if God was waiting for us to finally get it, to truly live out Matthew 6:25-34.  I don't know if that stands up theologically, but I can tell you with certainty that was our experience.  He moved us from a place of worry about the future to peace in the present.  Our circumstances did not change until our understanding did, our perception, our belief.

And today?  After a week where our present has been shaken, yet again?  There is still peace (praise God!) because I look for Him, and find Him, in the present.  "I have nowhere to go but you" - my current mantra - can be rephrased as:

"There is absolutely nothing I can do about my situation."

- or - 

"I am powerless but you are powerful."

- or -

"You are my only hope."

Linking up with Soli Deo Gloria tonight.  There's an exciting giveaway at Jen's place - be sure to check it out! 

Friday Ramblings

I've been away.  I miss ya'll.  So here I am, back and full of random thoughts....

It rained here again today (Austin, Texas is home).  It has officially rained every day this week.  In Austin.  In July.  I've lived here almost my whole life, and I can't remember the last time this happened.  Sunny summer storms.  It's beautiful, life-giving, refreshing.  And we need it.  Praise God for this provision.

I am busy at work on my novel this month (and working at Arbonne, and playing with the kids, and keeping the house).  I started writing it in February of 2011, finished the first draft in February 2012, and now I'm halfway through my first round of revisions.  By the time I finished the first draft I was so tired of it I could barely stand to read it. 

I gave it some space for about a month.  You know, room for both of us to breathe.  Much to my surprise and delight, when I went back to it I felt much better about it.  I actually liked it again and looked forward to entering the world of my beloved characters.  Since the 'season of space' we've had many wonderful days together.  They teach me as I inform them.  We form a healthy symbiosis in this habitat called writing. 

(For those of you who have asked for more details: the novel is a young adult fantasy fiction work.  It follows the lives of three protagonists: Tris, Iliana and Lara.  They live in the Empire of Mellock, where the Chief Elder has created an oppressive rule that keeps him at the center of everything.  He lives for power.  Masquerading as a benevolent leader, the Chief Elder holds the citizenry under his spell.  Only the three Chosen Ones and their friends in the Underground Resistance know the truth, and only they can fulfill the Prophecy to set humanity free.)

(Yes, it's the first book in a series....)

The rain has stopped, as quickly as it began.  An un-forecasted surprise for this Friday the 13th.  I'm glad it came.  The world is greener for it.

Did I mention that today is Friday Fun Day?  This is a tradition we started last spring, when my husband was unemployed.  He would spend all week looking for jobs for 10-12 hours/day.  The stress and tension of that life-space was affecting all of us, so, in a moment of divine inspiration, I decided that Fridays needed to be our Family Fun Days.

My husband started work last May - praise God! - but the tradition continues.  Today we went to the Austin Children's Museum:

Lily putting shingles on a roof...she loves building and moving; she's my busy bee

Gunnar and Lily learning about volume - the challenge is to fill up different containers with dried peas using a measuring cup, but before you do, you're supposed to guess which container will hold the most peas (or the greatest volume)

We had so much fun together today.  I was reminded that I have been too busy this week.  I have forgotten what it means to be a mommy.  I have forgotten my first love, my greatest calling (besides being a wife, of course).  I need to play with my kids.  Not drag them through errand after errand, not park them in front of the TV while I clean the house, not tell them to go play with eachother while I chat on the phone to friends....  Those choices are valid and must happen too, of course, but only sometimes.  The majority of my time should be spent on the floor, getting down and dirty with my toddler and preschooler.  That should be my default choice, not my last resort.

What prevents me from doing this?  Anxiety.  I get stressed out about all the things I need to get done.  Selfishness.  I put my needs first. 

But today I was reminded...when I put all of that stuff on a shelf, the anxiety dissipates.  I am so much more at rest when I choose to meet them on their level, to engage with what they want, to let them lead sometimes.

And, of course, when I'm operating out of rest (or an internal sabbath place), I ultimately get so much more done.  It all works out, whatever the 'it' of the day is....

Okay, I'm done rambling.  The sun has emerged from the passing storm cloud.  It's time to get back to my novel while the kids sleep.  I'm signing off now.

With love and affection for my blog friends, Jenny

Kid Lit

I'm still on a post writer's conference high.  The images and words from last weekend are swirling around in my head, heart, subconsciousness.  I love it.

I'm not ready to write yet.  Too much in there.  It needs to percolate before it can bubble over.

BUT, I miss ya'll, so I'm throwing something out into cyberspace.  Here it is:

What's your all-time favorite picture book, and why?

For more developed pontifications on life and God, visit Soli Deo Gloria!  Linking up with those lovely folks today.

Watering the Garden

Let me first say, I miss ya'll!  I've tried to post several times in the last few weeks, but I'm always derailed by something (technical difficulties, the need to devote time to the novel, groceries...you know, the usual).  But, here I am, and I'm so happy to be back.

I have a backlog of blog posts that are rolling around in my head, so forgive me if this is slightly incoherent.  Here goes....

I recently decided to volunteer at church by watering our garden once a week.  Let me give you some background here...I desperately want a garden.  I've tried to grow all sorts of stuff over the years: succulents, potted florals, vegetables.  Let's just say, my thumb is far from green.  Everything I try to grow dies a withered, dehydrated death.  My problem?  I always forget to water.

So, when I signed up to water, it was a leap of faith of sorts, backed by a sincere desire and decision to commit.  [When someone else is counting on me, I take things more seriously (sad to say).] 

Here's a picture of the garden with the Texas Hill Country in the background:

I love my church.  Some wonderful members decided we needed to grow an organic garden in order to augment our food bank.  So, not only do we have the only food bank in our church's neighborhood (a wealthy part of town...our food bank is almost always running low, ironically), we now have a thriving organic garden to go with it!  I love being part of a community, don't you? 

I never would have thought of this, never would have known how to make it happen, never would have been able to get these fruits to grow, and certainly never would have watered on my own every day. 

(For those of you who are interested, we split the watering seven ways - each taking one day/week - and we all check on the garden as we can.  We harvest once/month and deliver bags of fresh, organic produce to a sister Episcopal church in a poorer neighborhood in our city for their "neighbor to neighbor" food delivery program.  Here's a link to my church as well, just for kicks: St. Michael's Episcopal Austin.  If you want more info on doing this at your church, you could email Alice Hall.)

Back to my story.  I started watering mid-May.  These pictures are from my first week in the garden.  I haven't had my phone with me to take pictures since, but I sure do wish I had. 

The garden is thriving!  The tomato plants are literally pulling their trellises to the ground, they are so heavy with fruit.  The squash (the picture above) are trailing lush, gorgeous vines that overflow the bed.  In one week, the squash went from about the size of my first to the size of my two-year-old's head.  It was incredible!  The tomatoes went from the size of a quarter to the size of my fist.  It's awesome what consistent watering can do!

Since I've never spent any time in a real garden, I was amazed.  On my second Sunday, I ran back into church and dragged my whole family into the garden, showing them the peas, peppers, radishes, onions, mustard, leafy greens, and more.  They humored me as I discovered new delights under the foliage, wide-eyed and childlike.  I was so excited, so amazed, so...innocent.

Have you ever noticed how that happens?  How the discovery of unexpected gifts can delight and, ultimately, lead to childlike-ness?  Maybe not on the outside.  Maybe we receive a gift and act all cool and tough or...polite.  But deep down, if we'll allow ourselves to feel it, we're amazed when we are loved like that.  Amazed to see gifts literally unfolding right before our eyes.  Amazed that it's possible, that it's happening, that we're experiencing it.  It opens up a path into the childlike places in us, the places that never go away, no matter how old we become.

So, what have you watered today?  What places in your heart need those unexpected gifts - the kind that you don't believe are possible in your life, on your watch?  Where are the dry, withered, dehydrated places that God wants to bless, to flourish? 

I encourage you: spend a little time in your garden today and ask the Lord of the Harvest to send His rain. 

Linking up with Soli Deo Gloria - stop by.