Letting Go

This wasn't the post I was going to write today.

The post I had planned to write was complicated, confusing, needing to be unwound.  It was taking a lot out of me.  This post, by contrast, is simple, clear, direct.

It came to me after a friend said to me not more than thirty minutes ago: "Jenny, I think you need to let go...."  She followed it up with specific things I need to release - and I happen to agree with her - but the more salient point here is the overarching message of letting go.  As she spoke, it felt like a hard word - in that I would need to change in order to respond - but it also felt blissfully freeing.  I could literally feel a weight lifting off my shoulders as she spoke.  In its place came a mantle of peace, lightweight, comfortable, soothing.

You see, when I am afraid, I cling.  To whatever.  I obsess in order to find a way out of my fear.  I think that if I can only get to the answer, solve the problem, I won't have to be afraid any more and then I can let go.

As usual, I had it backwards.  The point is faith.  The point is not knowing.  The point is the letting go.

When I let go, that's when the fear left.  When I let go, that's when the peace came.

I'm no closer to an answer.  I'm no closer to a solution.  I'm not even closer to understanding.  But I am closer to faith.  I am closer to trust.  I am closer to Him.

For that, I am thankful.

Sitting on the new deck my husband built for me, enjoying the beautiful spring day, and linking up with Soli Deo Gloria.  This is a good day.