Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Soli Deo Gloria Link-Up

I wasn't going to make it here today.  It's VBS week (yes, the same VBS Jen has been working so hard on), and I'm volunteering + navigating the in's and out's of putting my kids in for the first time.  (For the record, it was not a good idea to be in the same family with my rather needy three-year-old son.  Live and learn.)

But I came by anyway.  Couldn't resist linking up - I would miss ya'll if I didn't "see" you, even if only for one week.

So here's my brief contribution to the party:

Yesterday was a very rough day for me.  Details aren't important right now.  Just know that I basically had to face my biggest fear - the one that makes you stop breathing if you entertain it even for one second - and push through.  I didn't want to; I wanted to run far, far away.  But I chose to stay in the place where I experienced fear (quite literally) and trust that God would step in and protect me.  Even though He didn't seem to yesterday, I chose to believe He would show up today. 

I don't say this to make it sound like I'm awesome.  I most definitely am not.  This was a fleshy, yucky, gross process.  Nothing pretty about it.  But it was also a holy process, a process set apart by God.  I don't fully understand why He showed up today but let something that really scared me happen yesterday.  But I do know that there is a reason, and He is in the process, whether I like how He decides to run things or not.

How do I know?  Lots of ways, but here's the most obvious.  This morning, during my quiet time, I heard Him tell me to go check out Psalm 34:17 (this, after pages of telling Him how mad I am at Him in my journal).

"Is anyone crying for help? God is listening,
   ready to rescue you."
-- From The Message

What a precious God we serve.  Even I, in my cynical, angry place leftover from yesterday, couldn't stand up against that - I melted. 

I know He keeps forcing me to face this particular fear, in deeper, more terrifying ways, because He wants to set me free from it.  I know that.  It doesn't make it easier.  It doesn't make me less angry in the moment.  But it does make it better.  There is a purpose.  This is a holy process.  We serve a good God.

Linking up with my friends at Soli Deo Gloria.  Stop by - you won't be sorry!


  1. It is hard to face such things. I think coming to the place where we can acknowledge the purpose, the holy process helps us to see the God we serve is good. Wonderful encouragement to me!


  2. It does help to be assured that there's a process and, most of all, that He's in the process. Praying for a good week for you!

  3. OH, I hate facing my fears. My daughters would say to you, "Strong work,Jenny" and strong work, God.

    Thanks for taking the time to share this step to wholeness.


  4. Wow...facing a fear is a confronting and very powerful moment. Good for you - so good putting faith into action. It is amazing how much smaller the fear feels once we have actually faced it and then its hold seems even less the more we do.