Getting Schooled

Woo-Hoo!!!!! 

And.....Yee-Haw!!!!!!

I'm all giddy with excitement today.  The kids are happily installed at their new preschool, and I'm alone - truly alone - for the first time in months.

Not that my husband didn't give me reprieves over the summer, for he certainly did.  There's a difference, though, in routine.  In knowing that they're where they're supposed to be, and I have no pressure to make it back in time to relieve my other half.

We prayed and prayed and prayed before putting them in preschool.  They've been in preschool or mom's day out since they were months old, but this year I particularly evaluated the choice.  I'm a stay-at-home mom.  We had already told last year's school we weren't coming back because we thought we were moving cities (which we aren't, by the way).  My husband is currently looking for work.  So, shouldn't they stay home full-time?

Logically, I thought the answer was yes.  Money is tight, and my heart is - has always been - to be their primary everything (including educator).  The decision was simple, hardly a decision at all.  But then I prayed.  And the unexpected popped into my brain.  St. Michael's.

Hmmm, I thought, what did you say?

St. Michael's, came the answer (as it would continue to come for many weeks of praying after that first day in late July).

St. Michael's is our church.  It's wonderful, and the preschool has an amazing reputation.  Beyond that, the preschool's approach to learning seems to be prefect for our son, in particular.  But, the school is relatively expensive, and it also happens to be thirty minutes away from our house.  One way.

So, more money on school that isn't necessary, and more money on gas, and less time for mommy to write, and am I abandoning my duty as a mom by putting them in school?  These are the thoughts that had me waffling on the decision for some weeks.  So, I asked again, what did you say?

Isn't it funny that God works like this?  I'm sharing this story because (a) I'm so excited that school has started again I can't help talking about it!  And, (b) there's a salient point here.

God sees the big picture; we don't.

God has the plan; we don't.

God tells us the next step; we need to take it.

I don't completely understand why we're at a new place - a place that seems totally beyond us, as if it's off the side of where we're standing instead of directly in front of us on the path we thought we were walking.  It will take a giant leap to get from where we are to this new spot over to the right.  A giant leap of faith, that is, because the rest, after all, is just details.

I don't quite get it, but, I also don't need to understand.  Because, I know God.  I know that He knows.  I find such confidence and, yes, JOY in that knowledge, that hope.  There are treasures here, in this new place, that He knows we will discover along the way.  That's part of my excitement as well.  We have left one season behind and started another, and that's always a fun adventure.

So, here's to new beginnings!  May yours be filled with the joy of discovery as well.  En-joy.

Linking up with my friends at Soli Deo Gloria today.  This is the last week to secure a discounted hotel room for the October retreat.  Don't forget!  We're going to have a great time, and you are invited!!!!

"Eat well"

It must be the Lord.  I ran into a dear friend at the grocery store this morning.  We swapped stories about health struggles.  It turns out that (a) we both walk with them in our families daily; and (b) we both approach them via a mixture of western medicine & alternative approaches.  I was deeply encouraged to find another person who understands what my family has been going through in a real, true way.

Then, I happened over to a blog I've started following and read this:

http://willingcook.com/welcoming-kelly-of-the-nourishing-home/

Her story could be my own, except that I'm still trying to implement many of the changes she's already made.  I'm so grateful for this blogging friend.  She spurs me on.

So, in two ways today I am reminded of what the Lord said to me when I was at my lowest and conventional medicine was not helping.  

Quite simply, He said: "eat well."

I am reminded that I must keep seeking, keep experimenting, keep refining my approach.

I am reminded how the most complicated of unknown places often has the most simple way of becoming clear.  

The "real food" or "whole food" or "clean" eating movement is, ultimately, about decluttering.  It's about ending up where we should have started from all along.  It's about cleaning out the pantry of our motives - all those impetuses that move us forward - until what's left is pure, white, clean.  It's about laying down what we want or crave and picking up what we need.  It's about letting go of entitlement and instead choosing holy desire, which is where real fulfillment takes place.  

Once we've changed what drives us we'll change what we want.  And then, we can begin filling up those pantry shelves with real, life-sustaining food that will lead us to honor God not only with our lips, but with our bodies as well.

This is easier said than done.  It is, most definitely, a process.  A year and a half after that word - "eat well" - I'm not even close to being fully obedient.

But I'm trying.  I'm engaging.  And I'm so, so thankful He has called me here.

My prayer for you is that you don't have to face a health crisis to start making changes that will move you toward greater health.  My prayer for you is that you will experience conviction without crisis.  My prayer for you is for wholeness and integration in all areas of your life - the physical and metaphysical.

No matter how you get there, my prayer is that you - and we, all of us in this nation, actually - do get there...that we arrive at the conclusion that we cannot keep poisoning ourselves with food that is actually non-food...that we will, as a nation, shift toward local, sustainable, whole, not because it's trendy but because it's Godly.

That we will collectively choose what we actually hunger for and make a daily effort to "eat well."

My Only Hope

We suddenly find ourselves in a precarious situation in my household.  There has been surprising news, an unexpected turn of events, and disappointment.  The details are irrelevant.  The salient point can be found in the present.  We are, in a word, unstable.

As I lamented our instability last week, whining a bit to the Lord, I did what I always do when things seem to go awry: I pulled out my journal and my Bible.  "I have nowhere to go but to you," I thought. 

"But now, Lord, what do I look for?  My hope is in you."  Psalm 39:7

As I went to Him, He reminded me that He had led me to this verse several times over the last few weeks.  The Word has certainly come alive in me this week; as plans are cut short and the future seems so uncertain, I can cling to this verse, this truth.

During the previous season of unemployment, an eight month period which ended in May, one lesson kept coming up over and over again.  "Live in the present."  It was as if God was waiting for us to finally get it, to truly live out Matthew 6:25-34.  I don't know if that stands up theologically, but I can tell you with certainty that was our experience.  He moved us from a place of worry about the future to peace in the present.  Our circumstances did not change until our understanding did, our perception, our belief.

And today?  After a week where our present has been shaken, yet again?  There is still peace (praise God!) because I look for Him, and find Him, in the present.  "I have nowhere to go but you" - my current mantra - can be rephrased as:

"There is absolutely nothing I can do about my situation."

- or - 

"I am powerless but you are powerful."

- or -

"You are my only hope."

Linking up with Soli Deo Gloria tonight.  There's an exciting giveaway at Jen's place - be sure to check it out! 

Friday Ramblings

I've been away.  I miss ya'll.  So here I am, back and full of random thoughts....

It rained here again today (Austin, Texas is home).  It has officially rained every day this week.  In Austin.  In July.  I've lived here almost my whole life, and I can't remember the last time this happened.  Sunny summer storms.  It's beautiful, life-giving, refreshing.  And we need it.  Praise God for this provision.

I am busy at work on my novel this month (and working at Arbonne, and playing with the kids, and keeping the house).  I started writing it in February of 2011, finished the first draft in February 2012, and now I'm halfway through my first round of revisions.  By the time I finished the first draft I was so tired of it I could barely stand to read it. 

I gave it some space for about a month.  You know, room for both of us to breathe.  Much to my surprise and delight, when I went back to it I felt much better about it.  I actually liked it again and looked forward to entering the world of my beloved characters.  Since the 'season of space' we've had many wonderful days together.  They teach me as I inform them.  We form a healthy symbiosis in this habitat called writing. 

(For those of you who have asked for more details: the novel is a young adult fantasy fiction work.  It follows the lives of three protagonists: Tris, Iliana and Lara.  They live in the Empire of Mellock, where the Chief Elder has created an oppressive rule that keeps him at the center of everything.  He lives for power.  Masquerading as a benevolent leader, the Chief Elder holds the citizenry under his spell.  Only the three Chosen Ones and their friends in the Underground Resistance know the truth, and only they can fulfill the Prophecy to set humanity free.)

(Yes, it's the first book in a series....)

The rain has stopped, as quickly as it began.  An un-forecasted surprise for this Friday the 13th.  I'm glad it came.  The world is greener for it.

Did I mention that today is Friday Fun Day?  This is a tradition we started last spring, when my husband was unemployed.  He would spend all week looking for jobs for 10-12 hours/day.  The stress and tension of that life-space was affecting all of us, so, in a moment of divine inspiration, I decided that Fridays needed to be our Family Fun Days.

My husband started work last May - praise God! - but the tradition continues.  Today we went to the Austin Children's Museum:

Lily putting shingles on a roof...she loves building and moving; she's my busy bee

Gunnar and Lily learning about volume - the challenge is to fill up different containers with dried peas using a measuring cup, but before you do, you're supposed to guess which container will hold the most peas (or the greatest volume)

We had so much fun together today.  I was reminded that I have been too busy this week.  I have forgotten what it means to be a mommy.  I have forgotten my first love, my greatest calling (besides being a wife, of course).  I need to play with my kids.  Not drag them through errand after errand, not park them in front of the TV while I clean the house, not tell them to go play with eachother while I chat on the phone to friends....  Those choices are valid and must happen too, of course, but only sometimes.  The majority of my time should be spent on the floor, getting down and dirty with my toddler and preschooler.  That should be my default choice, not my last resort.

What prevents me from doing this?  Anxiety.  I get stressed out about all the things I need to get done.  Selfishness.  I put my needs first. 

But today I was reminded...when I put all of that stuff on a shelf, the anxiety dissipates.  I am so much more at rest when I choose to meet them on their level, to engage with what they want, to let them lead sometimes.

And, of course, when I'm operating out of rest (or an internal sabbath place), I ultimately get so much more done.  It all works out, whatever the 'it' of the day is....

Okay, I'm done rambling.  The sun has emerged from the passing storm cloud.  It's time to get back to my novel while the kids sleep.  I'm signing off now.

With love and affection for my blog friends, Jenny

Kid Lit

I'm still on a post writer's conference high.  The images and words from last weekend are swirling around in my head, heart, subconsciousness.  I love it.

I'm not ready to write yet.  Too much in there.  It needs to percolate before it can bubble over.

BUT, I miss ya'll, so I'm throwing something out into cyberspace.  Here it is:

What's your all-time favorite picture book, and why?

For more developed pontifications on life and God, visit Soli Deo Gloria!  Linking up with those lovely folks today.